The Man from U.N.C.L.E. movie review (2015)

A gruff Agency honcho Jared Harris, approximating a Texan accent, delivers the news and he and his KGB counterpart debrief the unhappy new partners at a crowded outdoor café. Why these guys are spilling international secrets in a setting where they can be effortlessly overheard is the source for one of the movie’s better visual gags. Alas, the movie doesn’t have too many more “gotcha!”s in its bag. The two spies soon touch down in Italy, where they flirt—Ilya with Gaby, and Solo with one of the neo-fascists, a blah femme fatale played by Elizabeth Debicki—and do spy stuff. In this movie’s reimagining of the characters, Solo has a backstory as a master thief, while Ilya is a chess-obsessed strong man with rage and daddy issues. This gives Cavill and Hammer amusing bits to enact, but, and here’s a big rub, whatever it is that Cavill and Hammer are supposed to bring to this movie, they don’t. They fill out their clothes very nicely, it’s true, but other than that they are to charisma what black holes are to matter. “Flat” really doesn’t begin to cover it.

Then there’s the direction. Ritchie clearly wants to revel in a pre-swinging-‘60s vibe, but he either can’t or won’t commit to it in a way that yields any actual fun. Possibly he’s wary of bumping up against “Austin Powers”-style pastiche, but whatever the cause, when he’s not being incoherent, he’s being fussy. Even the soundtrack has a kind of stick up its fundament; it’s chock full of the Right Names in early ‘60s international (and largely Italian) pop, but it’s largely lacking in infectiousness. Seriously, they could have thrown in a “Take It East My Brother Charlie” or something and only a jerk like me would have pointed out the anachronism.

There are times when the movie uses its leads’ lack of affect in service of a cheeky sense of humor, as in Solo’s sojourn in the cab of a truck, after a frantic chase scene, sitting out (or so it seems) a near-fatal brush with danger for partner Ilya. But much of the time Richie seems uninterested in the action, although a final chase featuring a jeep, a skeletal ATV, and a motorcycle unspools like a choose-your-own-adventure video game, and I mean that in a good way. But the misfires are just as memorable, as when Richie and company use realistic evocations of Nazi atrocities to fill out the character of one minor villain. And if you were lucky enough to have seen Vikander in “Ex Machina” (and if you haven’t been you ought to change that), you’ll be profoundly appreciative of just how much she’s wasted here. She’s adorable anyway, however.