Hercules movie review & film summary (2014)
Since “Hercules” had strayed so far from the legend, I was surprised the film would include Hera’s horrific revenge on Hercules’ family. These images torture Hercules whenever they appear, threatening to give the character some complexity. To Johnson’s credit, he attempts to play these moments in agonized fashion—he believes he has murdered his family. It’s all for naught: Screenwriters Ryan Condal and Evan Spiliotopoulos work out an absurd loophole of absolution, pinning the murders on a three-headed dog instead of Hercules. The three-headed dog also turns out to be a hallucination; it’s actually three separate dogs. Responding to this development, the guy behind me at the theater let out a fierce snore. I envied him.
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger before him, Dwayne Johnson was born to play Hercules. Like Ah-nuld, he’s muscular and not without an onscreen chemistry that’s at times perfectly mythological. And Johnson is a welcome change from the Nordic ideal mythical movies usually employ. It’s too bad that Hercules comes off as a supporting character in his own story. The armies do most of the fighting, and when there’s quiet, Johnson has to share the screen with his team. The movie is stolen by McShane’s oracle, who is the recipient of the aforementioned noble near-death scene, and Tydeus (Aksel Hennie), a warrior so scarred by violence that he is more animal than human. Tydeus’ backstory, which “Hercules” only hints at, is far more interesting than anything we’re following in the present.
The CGI is absolute garbage, and Dante Spinotti’s cinematography is depicted as a muddy mess through the 3D glasses. Yet, there’s one moment that not only proves how little the filmmakers gave a damn but also saves this film from the no-star review it truly deserves. One of the villains is hit by the gigantic head of a statue of Hera that crumbles when Hercules pulls it down. The camera gives us a great look at the impact which, had physics been consulted, would have resulted in a juicy, delicious splatter. Instead, the villain not only remains intact after impact, he also rides the head off a cliff into oblivion. I laughed so hard I woke up the guy behind me. He was not happy.
